Well, Thursday was fun.
Thought I'd share a small glimpse into our new life as newborn parents. Joey is coming up on two months old, and life has been, well, different.
Having Joey is here is the coolest thing that's ever happened. He brings massive joy into our home that we didn't know was missing, and more laughs than we ever thought a little 12 pound human could bring. Like the other morning...
Warning : "graphic" detail to ensue.
On Tuesdays and Thursday mornings, I get up before Joey so I can prepare to leave to take him and myself to the gym. We go to Alpha Strong, where Chelsey teaches a Mommy/Baby class, and I get to wear Joey while I work out. It's the coolest thing, and seriously the best parts of my week. We adore it.
So, Thursday, I get up, prep a bottle for Joey, pump per usual and get my workout clothes on. Adam proceeds to begin the coffee, let the dogs out... you know, the usual routine. Joey awakes right on time and also per usual, he smiles and laughs at me when I look down into his crib. For some reason, he thinks waking up is the funniest and LONGEST process. It's adorable.
As I feed him, Adam tells me that he doesn't remember Joey pooping the day before. I look at my schedule on my phone, and confirm that in fact he did not, and that he is due for one. Which means, it will be huge and gross and probably come out everywhere. As if on cue, Joey begins to let one loose.
Joey also thinks that going to the bathroom is the funniest and LONGEST process, so he smiles and laughs and proceeds to finish his bottle before he is "finished" doing his other business.
I go to the changing table, carefully, and remove this unfortunate diaper. I say, out loud, "Joey, I feel like maybe you aren't done. Let's get this new diaper on quick."
Ya, not quick enough. Poop comes projecting out, onto the wall, the changing table, my hands, his outfit waiting to be put on, the whole bit.
Ok, not a big deal. I can TOTALLY handle this. I can clean this, it is what the laundry machine is for. No biggie.
Wrong. Biggie. Because it happens again.
Joey is seriously laughing at me as I gag and try not to panic.
I yell at Adam to please come help me, and he seems to be having a coffee emergency and cannot come to my rescue.
Meanwhile, Joey pees. Straight into the air, and I just let it happen.
I yell again at Adam. I am holding Joey's legs straight up in the air with one hand and trying to move the changing pad cover and now 3 poop covered diapers away from him so he doesn't end up rolling in it.
Joey proceeds to puke.
And he laughs again.
Finally, Adam comes in the room, gags dramatically, and tries to help me.
He picks up Joey's head, I lift his legs and we move him to the only semi clean spot on the changing table and get a diaper halfway on...
Adam picks him up, holds him out in front of him while I wipe his entire body off with wipes.
The clean up ensued, and we don't need to go into detail about that...
Needless to say, Joey and I made it to our workout on time.
The rest of our day was wonderful, that is, until we went to the pediatrician for Joey's first rounds of shots.
Ya, you guys, this day could not have been more dramatic.
Considering what happens when an 8 week old gets stabbed with 3 needles, Joey did really well. I mean, he did great. I did not. It was traumatic.
So Thursday was fun.
If you're still childless and think you may be having a dramatic day, just remember that it cannot be as bad as a day full of poop covered everything and baby shots. Joey wins the Best Lead Role in a Dramatic Day award. Hands down.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend of sunshine, giggles and coffee.
xoxo, Joey and Nicole